| Happy Dawg's House | ||||||||||||
| The Josh and Pops Saga - Chapter II | ||||||||||||
|
So there we were, flying away in the F-14 Tomcat we took from that dreaded time-space continuum confusion thing we were in. It's been years but we've been flying nonstop (hey, it can happen). This thing is....solar powered, yeah, that's the ticket. Anyway, Josh expresses the fact that he has to urinate. Okay okay, so he said he had to go pee. I tell him to park this thing (hey, he's the pilot, I'm just the navigator) over at the local Wal-Mart but not ONE parking space available for ONE measly fighter jet. Anyhows, we crush a whole bunch of cars (hey, with the money they're saving here at Wal-Mart, they can buy themselves another, I'm sure of it) as we land and Josh exits the nifty cool fighter jet which seems to be getting some attention (Hey baby, what's YOUR name?) and heads to the entrance of the Wal-Mart. The ever present 'Wal-Mart Greeter' stops him in his tracks and says, "Sorry sir, customers only." Hee hee, Mr. No Job called my son 'sir'. So Josh looks him dead in his eye, jumps as high as he can and grabs on to Mr. Greeter's tie and tries to pull him down to no avail. This doesn't deter Josh from saying, as best he can as he is hanging from this guy's tie, "Either I go in, or I go now". Mr. Greeter let's Josh go. That's m'boy.
So while Josh is fulfilling his fantasy of letting himself go, I'm fulfilling a fantasy of my own...HALF PRICED HOSTESS HONEY BUNS! Yeah baby, yeah! So I'm scarfing these things while sitting on the wing of our nifty cool fighter jet when this cop pulls up. I yell, "STUPID PIGS!" and begin to hurl the unwanted Cheese Puffs we picked up earlier at him. This, however, puts him in a good mood and he walks away, chomping on the Cheese Puffs and saying something that sounded like 'Tasty, thanks'. I shrug my shoulders. Then, I hear a sudden scream, "DADDYYYYY!!!!". I turn around to see my son being held by some terrorists dressed in black who call themselves "TIB, Terrorists In Burlap". Don't ask. "Ten million dollars Captain Pops or your son gets it. You have 36 hours starting 30 seconds ago. Do not be late. We will be in touch." Great, I don't have time for this, I had a haircut appointment today! Besides, what's the deal w/ this Captain Pops? What do I look like, a cereal box character? What is Josh going to 'get' if I don't pay up? Hopefully it's something good. It better be if it's going to substitute ten million dollars. Besides, what were they doing wearing black armani shirts and jeans and boots and looking all kinds of Rico Suave? What kind of terrorist group are they? Fashion Terrorists. "Freeth, don't move! Oh thtop moving already!" Anyway. They disappeared while I was tirading there. Why'd you let me do that? Now I gotta go find m'boy... Next episode: "Journey for a lifetime" or "Where or where did I leave that compass and map?" |